“Don’t ask WHY me, ask HOW me”
How have I ended up so blessed and happy, how is it that I have managed to pull myself out of some sticky situations and still been OK, how have I met so many wonderful people and what is the pathway that I have walked that created the person that I am now.
This quote is something that someone once said this to me when I was whingeing about something that wasn’t going right in my life and I was saying things like “OMG why am I in this situation?”. I have come to realize that you can’t ask someone else why your life has ended up in a certain way or taken a certain course, because you are the only one that knows WHY you made the choices that you did.
From time to time, we all wonder WHY we are in a situation that we don’t like. We want to KNOW what has gotten us to this point in our life and we want someone else to tell us. Whilst other people may be able to tell you HOW, it will be from their observation of your life. Like, if you ask someone else how you ended up with a car that keeps breaking down and costing a lot of money to repair all the time? The answer could be simple. Maybe you didn’t maintain it well enough when you had the chance or you just didn’t think about the consequences of not buying those new tyres for your car that you needed when you had the chance and now that lack of attention is costing you.
I have always found that if I change the question around and instead of asking “Why is this happening to me?” and instead ask “How is this happening to me?” I start to feel better about my situation and myself and begin to think about the pathway that I have chosen and soon a solution becomes clear. It is a much more positive way of thinking and it helps me to focus on the problems that will challenge me to grow and see a way forward.
The other question that I have often asked is ‘WHY ME?”, when really the question I should ask is “Why NOT me?”. Certain things happen to all of us where we ask “Why Me?” and they are the rewards and challenges that only you or I can do, they happen to us because we CAN do them. Instead of asking why, turn the question around and ask HOW? How can I make this work, how can I help others, how can I see this challenge more positively or how satisfied will I be when I am on the other side of challenging situations.
Turning this question around has really helped me and maybe it will also help you.
- Does it help to whinge? (whingersbloghere.wordpress.com)
- Quote: Who Are They? (monicaricci.net)
- Why should I give a damn! (petemw.wordpress.com)